1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I'm perfect.


2. if I save time, when do I get it back?


3. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.


4. as I said before, I never repeat myself.


5. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.


6. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.


7. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who is left.


8. Best way to prevent a hangover is to stay drunk.


9. If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.


10. I was born intelligent.... education ruined me.


11. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
What more can I say!


12. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?


13. Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.


14. Living on Earth may be expensive...but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun....!


15. Your future depends on your dreams.So go to sleep!


16. ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY.
So what? Who’s in a hurry?


17. Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop!


18. A drunk was hauled into court.
"Mister", the judge began, "you've been brought here for drinking...."
"Great," the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?


19. Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting.....!



20. The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.


21. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.


22. We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?


23. it’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.


24. It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.


25. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.


26. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.


27. Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.


28. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.


29. Behind every successful woman ,is a man who is surprised.


30. Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop.


31. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.


32. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.


33. Forgive your enemies but remember their names.


34. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.


35. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action

really very funny very gr8 dude hahahahahahah.........

nice..